|
When I look in the mirror I see a girl who has been hurt, a girl who still thinks and believes she is fat. A girl who can't think she can trust herself, a girl that is still holding onto something from the past. But I also see a girl who has the capability of being strong. It's not always easy, but if it is going to take baby steps, she has to be ok with that. Even if it is one step forward and two steps back. I see a girl with a big Heart who wants to help people, a girl who has been hurt by people, yes there may be scars and wounds, but she has been strong enough to pick up the peices and Learn to Forgive. This girl may look in the mirror and not thing she is pretty, But I know it's only what is on the inside that really matters. This girl is allowed to be Proud of herself, she has accomplished allot, and she can give herself some credit for it. She is allowed to look in the mirror and call herself Beautiful, Because that is how God made her Unique and One of a Kind. Why is it so Hard to look in the mirror and see the true me, I don't know, sometimes I just feels so useless and unworthy of Love, But If I want to be loved I need to learn to love Myself.
I want to be able to look in the mirror one day and say, What a beautiful strong person you have become, I want to be able to believe that. I don't right now but that is ok, this is just another step in my life, and I am still learning to let go of the old me and the past. I want to be free of the past and those old shadows, what those shadows are I don't know.
But right now I am OK with that. step one is learning to love me for whom I am now, not loving me for who I might and will become, but loving myself at this instant not based on how I make look or what the scale says. But knowing that you are lovable and capable of loving. So tomorrow when I look in the mirror what am I going to tell myself, not that I am Fat and Ugly, but that I am strong and beautiful.
|