To start, I've always had weight issues growing up. I would be thin then I would gain weight and the cycle continues. There was usually a reason for my weight gains and losses and they were usually tied to the same thing... depression or stress. I ate when I felt happy and I ate when I felt sad. This time though I never expected to hit 200, let alone 203. The reason this time being what is called "Grief Belly".

Late last year in 2020 I lost the child I was carrying 13 weeks into my pregnancy. When I got pregnant I was around the 150s climbing the 160s. Prior to my pregnancy I had undergone a weightless challenge where i lost 30-35 lbs. I had lost weight so that my husband and I could try to have a child (healthy pregnancy). During my pregnancy the urge came to eat everything in sight but after I lost my baby (was going to be my first), I ate my pain away. Now 6 months later I am trying to do a change in hopes that we could try again. The pain will never go away but I know the weight can.

My goal is to get down to 150 physically without caving into my usual spiral of emotional eating.