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I’ve been eating perfectly and exercising for more than two months, but my weight didn’t move. I got desperate. I realized the old methods don’t work anymore. My mind was so tired of constantly being in a “losing weight mode” for over a decade.
I decided to try something different and to dig deeper - into the reasons why I gain weight at the first place.
I recognized the existing eating disorder. Had to stop calorie counting and to go back to my body, trying to listen to it and its needs.
I am now learning to eat only when hungry, and to stop once satiated; to not overeat and not to force myself to finish every plate even when I’m full.
I am choosing healthy food but I don't forbid myself any food, and I work on making myself believe that there are no bad foods and I can eat whatever I want (which is natural btw, but years of dieting screw with people’s minds, demonizing food).
This has been challenging, I’ve been working with a therapist on my mental blocks and patterns related to food. Had to go deep into my childhood when I first started gaining weight and find the reasons. There was a lot of crying.
And now I am here. My weight finally moved!!!! I haven’t seen 76 on a scale in over six months. I am working with deep roots of my weight gain, instead of fighting the consequences - it was too exhausting and didn’t bring any results.
Now I am working for the long term, to forever get rid of the toxic habits and patterns that were leading to weight gain since I was 16 years old. I am building a heathy relationships with my body and with food. I am learning to love my body and not to treat it like an enemy. To not have to count and control all I eat till the rest of my life. To get back to the naturally “thin girl’s mind” that I was born with.
For those, who’s situation might resonate with mine, if you’re at war with food, with your cravings and with your own body - I recommend to read a book: Diets Don’t Work by Bob Schwartz.
It changes everything.
I am happy ❤️
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 Kommentare
Love everything about this post! As someone who has struggled with an eating disorder myself, I’m very cautious about calorie counting and absolutely refuse to restrict certain foods or food groups as it ignites problematic thinking and eating for me. You’re doing hard and important work ❤️
16 Jul 24 vom Mitglied: le-ah.
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I'm so happy for u! It's hard to listen to the body instead of listening to all the negatives coming from our conditioned brains. I, too, have struggled all my life with my weight, n it makes it more difficult when u have well-intentioned people around feeding your brain more baloney about your weight n body. I also am cautious with calorie counting n weigh-ins that can trigger me into going off the rails one way or another. You're doing fantastic, keep up all your hard work n be happy!
16 Jul 24 vom Mitglied: doorknocker26
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I’m glad you found something that works for you. That’s the “secret sauce” for us all, is finding the lane that best works for us! Congrats! 🎉
16 Jul 24 vom Mitglied: StomachMonkeys
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StomachMonkeys thank you so much! I am hoping this is my last resort and I that I did find the approach that works for me.
17 Jul 24 vom Mitglied: sw_lana_
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doorknocker26 Wow, you really know what I’ve been going through! It takes a similar experience to recognize this kind of pain. You’re so right, those “loving” advices from people around us are creating the kind of walls in our brains, that prevent us from thinking healthy. And it’s so damn hard to even recognize those walls, not to mention break them down!
It came as a mind blow to me that counting calories can be a variety of an ED, my world has turned upside down. And the every day weigh ins too! We can truly throw sand in our own wheels with those destructive patterns.
Thank you so much for the support and all the kind words! I wish you good luck too, and you’re doing awesome staying aware of these things and trying your best to eliminate them!
17 Jul 24 vom Mitglied: sw_lana_
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le-ah. I feel you! And I’m amazed at how many of us have been going through this crap. I’m so happy for you that all of this is in the past, could you share a bit of your experience and what worked for you best! When I first realized I have an eating disorder, my first thought was “that’s it, I’m doomed to be fat forever”, the hardest part was to bring myself to believe that something can be done about it. It seems easier every time I spot someone with similar experience and gives me hope!
This work is much harder than just diet and exercise, it’s like I’m trying to rewire my brain entirely.
Thank you for the support and kind words too ! 🙏🏻😊
17 Jul 24 vom Mitglied: sw_lana_
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You actually are trying to rewire your own brain, with different neuropathways from those more commonly used. It’s amazing though and can be done! My start to disordered eating began quite promptly in response to a suggestion as a teen to lose weight and inches in order to open up a certain opportunity for me (staying vague as this is a public post), and my relationship with eating immediately changed. It still angers me looking back at it, as a healthy, athletic teen how quickly this changed. For many it’s not as sudden I imagine. But honestly it was inevitable to a certain degree, if not disordered eating it would’ve been other problematic and unhealthy behaviours and was for sure many times in my life. The core for me was doing some deep emotional work - both in therapy and in many other ways, which is ongoing. Behavioural strategies are amazing for making changes (meal prepping, forming exercise habits, etc) but without the emotional work any progress would’ve been derailed for me at some point and I would've been neglecting some of the issues I needed to address in my life. So while struggling with extreme restrictive eating and BN for about 15 years, followed by several years of healing, I now find myself in middle age trying to find healthy ways to drop a few pounds that would help me feel more healthy - this is a real mind struggle and I always need to be on guard for old habits creeping up. This a Cole’s notes version of my journey, but I hope my sharing is helpful. For me now staying within a certain daily intake is important so I don’t get to an unhealthy weight at this stage of my life that can cause real health issues, but like I said, it’s a real delicate balance and this site would’ve been unhelpful for me at a certain time in my journey. I wish you nothing but the best as you move forward.
17 Jul 24 vom Mitglied: le-ah.
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