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10 September 2014

This is going to sound so ungrateful right now. I feel fat, and I think that I have entered an awkward stage and didn't know it. The scale is actually going down, so thank the Lord. My clothes fit nicely too, and the mirror is being kind. But, then someone takes a picture...

The pictures I take of myself are flattering and cute. I see in them what I see in the mirror. The pictures people take of me show me that I am going through an awkward phase. I hate when I feel great in my clothes, then a picture shows how awful they look on me. Is this what people have been looking at all day? That's not how I feel! Now, I'm embarrassed. I'm also embarrassed when I think of how I looked 15 pounds ago.

Someone hide me.

(15 Kommentare)

05 September 2014

I decided not to weigh-in this week due to the passing of Labor Day weekend. I didn't binge (yay)! But, I didn't feel like a had complete control of my intake either.

Trying to see all the friends and do what I wanted to do left me away from the house and eating at unpredictable times. I was starting to feel like people were just waiting for me to finish my snack just so they could ask me to dinner or lunch somewhere. When I didn't snack, no one was calling LOLOLOL!

I wanted to eat what I wanted, and the funny thing is that Salad Challenge created a habit. I've had a salad everyday for the last 5 days too, so what is that, day 36? I was so happy to have some pizza, some fries, tons of dark chocolate, and a java chip frappacino - not all in the same day of course. Here's a new thing to avoid. I had four strips of sour tape candy from a candy store, within twenty minutes I became painfully nauseous and it lasted for five hours. I had these Sunday and the chocolate Monday, so I do know that it was the sour tape.

My water intake was great, and I biked everywhere. So much biking that I have had to take the last two days off to recover.

I also found out that I am perfectly fine after a beer, and those little ciders and Bud Light ___-a-rita's are what cuts the signal off for my "train to move".

This week has been very nice. We got the great news that corporate overrode our office execs and okay'd the new casual dresscode. I bought and wore a new pair of jeans on Wednesday and it. felt. great!!! Plus, people were telling me how much weight they could see that I lost...go jeans! go jeans!

I'm more excited about being able to buy and wear my style of clothing. My style is more glam edgy chic than business casual. Trying to fit another mold was a challenge. Then there was no use buying a separate wardrobe for the weekend. Especially with my income.

So excited to modernize my wardrobe. One piece at a time since I'm on a weight loss journey. Oh, about that. Today I weight 187.6.

(5 Kommentare)

29 August 2014

Another day of feeling amazing! I got a little depressed yesterday. You're going to think this is so petty, but...

We got an email that our parent company is changing the dress code company-wide from business casual to casual (including permitting shorts from Memorial Day to Labor Day). Then we got an email from the local office that the office holds the right to maintain our current business casual dress code because we are a client-facing office. We are certainly NOT a client-facing office. I haven't seen a client in the two years I've been here because they do not let us invite them to the office. The only client-facing positions are those who work in the hospitals.

Being able to dress down isn't really my issue. This is just another straw added to the camel's back. I've literally had a lifetime of negative reinforcement from parenting to private schools to my home church and now to this office. It just hurt my feelings that we get a small win that would make a huge morale impact, and the office just snatched it away...again.

They don't understand. A lot of them came from very toxic work environments. This is an upgrade for them, but this is a downgrade for me.

On another note, I've narrowed down two items that may be blocking my signal to remove waste from my body. Alcohol and peanut butter. It's probably alcohol, to be honest. Like I said before, it's not that there is a blockage, there's just no signal to go. When I do go, there is proof (I'll refrain from giving details) that I am not dehydrated.

I don't have to drink so I am cutting it out for the month of September. I'm also so happy to be finishing the salad challenge in two days! People are starting to compliment me on my weight loss too! They aren't just seeing it in my face, they are pulling on my clothes and telling me how great they are fitting now, or how baggy they are now. That makes me feel so good. <sigh> Alright, back to work :-)

(3 Kommentare)

27 August 2014

I feel great today, just like yesterday. Went to Benihana's for happy hour again and had water and two rolls of sushi. I love sushi! The train got me home pretty late even though we were done with dinner pretty early. I'm not sure why they were running on 20-minute schedules.

I spoke to my coworker about how I was feeling last week. She sees what I eat for every meal except dinner 5x per week. She recommended that I add one more portion of a complex carbs to my day because I might be burning more than I think I am with the cycling. This is my coworker who has lost more than 85 pounds.

Getting prepared to pay for my electrical work at my house. Living a cash-only life is a challenge. Old habits dictate that I put the repair on my credit card and pay it off over the next several months. Old habits are why I'm in debt. Following old habits is not going to get me debt-free (with exception of my mortgage) in the next 5 years. Actually, it's not going to take that long but I don't want to calculate a target date. Knowing how I am I'll get too competitive about it.

My credit score actually jumped up 52 points lately. Can you believe that? Credit score going up; weight going down :-)

(3 Kommentare)

26 August 2014

Today I am at 187.4.

After a nice dip and a unwelcome rise, I am courting 187 pounds this week. However, I feel great today. Yesterday was a struggle as I was finally relieved of the burden I have been carrying around for days. It's like the train is there, the tracks are clear, but there's no signal for it to leave the station. Several trains left the station yesterday. Yes!!!

Got my reject email letting me know I didn't get the job, but was a strong candidate, so they will consider me for more positions as they come available. It's really okay. I wrote down all of my financial needs and desires over the weekend and am praying on the figure that it all added up to. That company could not meet that figure, so it's really in the Lord's hands and I'm trusting that he will provide the right opportunity for me.

I really need to finish strong with my current employer. Doesn't matter that it does not satisfy me, that's no reason to neglect my work. I've never been this person before, so it's another indication that it is time to leave.

In the meantime, I'll stay strong and keep my skills strong. I'll keep calm and bike on. Let's go!

(4 Kommentare)

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